How do you deal with a difficult son-in-law?
- Accept Your Child's Decisions. Most parents have certain standards for their children and as they grow older, these standards may or may not change. ...
- Practice Diplomacy. ...
- Give Them Space. ...
- Respect Their Decisions. ...
- Key Takeaways.
Be Good to Their Daughter
But the simplest thing you can do to be a great son-in-law is to be a great husband and father. Above all else, most in-laws want to know that their child is happy and healthy and growing in a marriage. So, when you're around them, be sure to demonstrate how strong your relationship is.
Talk to them in private and express your concerns letting your child know that you are there for them, no matter what, when they are ready to talk. Assure them that no matter what is said, you will keep it confidential.
- Recognize that your role in your child's life has been downgraded.
- Sound happy and positive when talking to or about your new daughter- or son-in-law.
- Remember important details from their life.
- But don't be nosy.
- Play fair.
- Avoid choosing sides.
- Keep your opinions to yourself.
Many married couples have trouble with the question of who comes first, your spouse or your parents? The answer is your spouse – that's your first obligation. When you get married, you leave your parents. It doesn't mean you don't talk to them anymore (unless they're horrible), but you have to cater to the new dynamic.
Actually, disliking your in-laws is incredibly common. After all, you fell in love with your partner and committed to them. You certainly didn't fall in love or commit to their critical mother or controlling father. So don't think there is anything wrong with you for not being fond of your extended family.
It's totally normal to feel like an outsider for some time, and that can be super hard to tolerate. However, with patience, mindfulness, and intentionality, it's possible to actually use this time to learn about your partner and their family, and build a solid and cooperative alliance with all of them.
Perhaps, one of the most important traits a mother-in-law needs to display is respectfulness. Being respectful of the couple's time and relationship builds a sense of trust. It also communicates that you value and prioritize their needs as a family unit and are willing to respect their boundaries.
The father becomes increasingly more important to the son. Through his father's example, he learns to be a man. The mother should be "behind the scenes" and encourage this relationship. Healthy letting go is a balancing act that allows mother and son greater freedom and even a deeper connection, Meeker says.
plural sons-in-law. : the husband of one's daughter or son.
Is it common to not like your mother-in-law?
In fact, according to one study, 60 percent of mother/daughter-in-law relationships — compared to just 15 percent of son/mother-in-law relationships — are strained. Words like “infuriating,” “depressing” and “awful” are only some negative terms used to characterize these tense relationships.
- Accept your son's choice. ...
- Be kind to your jealous daughter-in-law. ...
- Try to be her friend. ...
- Think about your grandchildren. ...
- Get to know her before you call her a jealous daughter-in-law. ...
- Give space and set boundaries to avoid daughter-in-law issues. ...
- Don't talk to your son about her.

An in-law suffering from narcissistic personality disorder may have unrealistic expectations of you and your spouse. They may feel as though they are entitled to personal or financial favors. They may expect you to spend every holiday with them, or drop whatever you're doing to help them.
Your narcissistic son-in-law is most likely a master manipulator. He knows just what to say and do to put your daughter off balance. At least at the beginning of a relationship, many narcissists bombard their victim with love and affection, making the victim believe that the narcissist would never hurt them.
They're incredibly reactive or overbearing. They love to blame others. They're likely controlling. “The main reason an in-law behaves like this is because they feel threatened by you,” says Dyachenko.
Your narcissistic son-in-law is most likely a master manipulator. He knows just what to say and do to put your daughter off balance. At least at the beginning of a relationship, many narcissists bombard their victim with love and affection, making the victim believe that the narcissist would never hurt them.
- How to deal with disrespectful or toxic in-laws.
- 1 Set your boundaries right at the inception.
- Focus more on worthwhile activities.
- Seek your spouse's help.
- Maintain a good distance.
- Go the professional route.
- Set Boundaries. ...
- Consider the Reasons Behind Her Behavior. ...
- Avoid Her When Possible. ...
- Maintain Your Self-Respect. ...
- Practice Acceptance. ...
- Stop Trying to Meet Her Expectations. ...
- Communicate With Your Partner. ...
- Learn Ways to Predict Her Behaviors.
- Recognize her role in your family. ...
- Never compare children. ...
- Heal rifts quickly. ...
- Be a pleasant force in her life. ...
- Accept her unconditionally. ...
- Problem-solve difficulties. ...
- Keep the door open. ...
- Avoid any hint of criticism.
The grey rock method is where you deliberately act unresponsive or unengaged so that an abusive person will lose interest in you. Abusive people thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and don't show your emotions, they may lose interest and stop bothering you. This is known as “grey rocking.”
How do narcissists treat their inlaws?
An in-law suffering from narcissistic personality disorder may have unrealistic expectations of you and your spouse. They may feel as though they are entitled to personal or financial favors. They may expect you to spend every holiday with them, or drop whatever you're doing to help them.
- “You're welcome to come over anytime. ...
- “I didn't ask for your opinion.” ...
- “I can't believe you voted for him.” ...
- “Why didn't you teach your son to…” ...
- “I just feel more comfortable with my family.” ...
- “I hope I inherit your armoire.” ...
- “We're too busy to see you.”
- 01/8If your in-laws are toxic, then these tips will help you. ...
- 02/8Don't entertain their gossips. ...
- 03/8Don't work on pleasing them. ...
- 04/8Be confident. ...
- 05/8Stand strong. ...
- 06/8Learn to forget. ...
- 07/8Shift your focus. ...
- 08/8Manipulate your in-laws.
- Observe and empathize: It's not enough to just listen to your spouse to tell you about their parents and how upset they are with their relationship – you need to express your empathy and compassion. ...
- Gain and offer perspective: Seeing your in-laws' side of things can be helpful.
- Practice “I” statements. We'll start with a well-known one. ...
- Identify defense mechanisms—both your own and those of your family members. ...
- Ask for—and accept—help. ...
- Bring in co-conspirators and buffers. ...
- You don't necessarily need to turn *all the way up* ...
- Practice mindfulness.
- Acknowledge their value in your life. ...
- Be clear about boundaries. ...
- Meet resistance with reassurance. ...
- Encourage time spent with your spouse and kids.
You can refuse to stay with your in-laws and you most definitely do not need to be best friends with your sisters-in-law. It is absolutely normal to want to stay away from them. Staying away from your in-laws does not mean that you don't like them or don't want to spend time with them.